index

<<print either("In short:","ICYMI:","Basically,","To recap:") + " <<exclamation>> <<yay>> " + either(";-)",":-)",":-P",":-O",":-/"),either("Having trouble with ","Liking ","Not liking ","Not sure about ","Love ") + either("the <<place>>.","the <<person>>.","the space phone!","<<description>> <<quality>>.","alcohol!")>>

<div style = 'font-size: 2em; line-size: 130pc; text-align: center; text-shadow: -1px -1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.64);'>The Text Messages That You Miss When Your Friend Goes To The Space Ambassadors' Party But You Stay Home And Watch Television Instead</div><<set $cnt to 0>><<goto "go">>

.passage { \n\tbackground-color: #80E6FF;\n border-radius: 3pc;\n padding-top: 2pc;\n padding-right: 2pc;\n padding-bottom: 2pc;\n padding-left: 2pc;\n}\n.passage:not(:last-child):not(:hover) {\n\topacity: 1;\n}\n

<div class='next'>[[YOU HAVE UNREAD MSGS »|main]]</div>\n</br>

<<print either("reproductive organ","brain","body","hand","tentacle","mouth","skeleton","visual cortex","sense of taste","language","religion","computer","idea of fun","weapon","sense organ","sexuality","mandible","drink","tendril","form of nudism","pet","massage style","kind of love","musical taste","skin","personality","head","tail","mouth","agenda","civilization","culture","<<place>>")>>

<<intro>><<type_of>> <<thing>> OR <<type_of>> <<thing>> - <<print either("I am ","I'm "," ","am I ")>><<adverb>><<print either("conflicted!","puzzled!","indecisive!","discomobulated!","fascinated!","considering...","choosing.","having trouble choosing?","wondering?")>> <<exclamation>>

jquery:off\nhash:off\nbookmark:on\nmodernizr:off\nundo:on\nobfuscate:off\nexitprompt:off\nblankcss:off\n

<<print either("",either("Previous","No","Umm","M8 ",";-) ",":-) ",":-O ",":-P ","No way","Word up","OMG","OMFG","LOL","REKT","ROFL","FTW","HUH","FML","Awkward","Logical","Standard","Random","Fuk","Excelsior","Get out","U R missing it","Amazeballs","Adorbs") + either("!","!","!","!","!!","!1","?") + either("","","","!","!","!","!","?") + either("","","","","","!","!","?")) + " ">>

<<print either("",either("Yay!","Squee!!","(((HONK)))","/blushes","/vibes/","xox","I know right?","Lucky!","OMFG","Praise be!","<nowiki>#</nowiki>party","Too much?","Too much!","Too soon.","<3","<3 <3 <3","Miss U!","Wish U were here!",either("Nudge, nudge.","Initiate Fuckplan!"),"IYKWIM...","Or something!"))>>

version.extensions.timedgotoMacro={major:1,minor:2,revision:0};\nmacros["goto"]=macros.timedgoto={timer:null,handler:function(a,b,c,d){function cssTimeUnit(s){if(typeof s=="string"){if(s.slice(-2).toLowerCase()=="ms"){return +(s.slice(0,-2))||0\n}else{if(s.slice(-1).toLowerCase()=="s"){return +(s.slice(0,-1))*1000||0\n}}}throwError(a,s+" isn't a CSS time unit");return 0}var t,d,m,s;\nt=c[c.length-1];d=d.fullArgs();m=0;if(b!="goto"){d=d.slice(0,d.lastIndexOf(t));\nm=cssTimeUnit(t)}d=eval(Wikifier.parse(d));if(d+""&&state&&state.init){if(macros["goto"].timer){clearTimeout(macros["goto"].timer)\n}s=state.history[0].passage.title;macros["goto"].timer=setTimeout(function(){if(state.history[0].passage.title==s){state.display(d,a)\n}},m)}}};

<<exclamation>> The <<person>> is <<adverb>><<action>> <<type_of>> <<thing>>! <<exclamation>>

<<print either("origami","poetry","gymnastics","mathematics","breakdancing","kissing","mime","voyeurism","cookery","recitation","blessing","coding","gaming","martial arts","sleeping","sexuality","wrestling","cocktails","drinking games","exhibitionism","fauna","massage","love","music","abstraction","technology","toys","art","robots","movements","journalism","tourism",either("piracy","industry"),"discipline","undergarments")>>

<div><div class='endit'>[[BLOCK|block]]</div><div class='next'>[[NEXT MSG »|either("pic_msg","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main","main")]]</div></div>\n</br><<timedgoto "main" 600s>>

.passage:not(:last-child) {\n\tdisplay: none\n}\n\n.passage {\n font-size: 1.5em;\n}\n\n.content a {\n color: #FFF;\n padding: 3px 5px;\n -webkit-border-radius: 4px;\n -moz-border-radius: 4px;\n border-radius: 4px;\n border: solid 1px #20538D;\n text-shadow: 0 -1px 0 rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);\n -webkit-box-shadow: inset 0 1px 0 rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.4), 0 1px 1px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);\n -moz-box-shadow: inset 0 1px 0 rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.4), 0 1px 1px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);\n box-shadow: inset 0 1px 0 rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.4), 0 1px 1px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);\n -webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s;\n -moz-transition-duration: 0.2s;\n transition-duration: 0.2s;\n -webkit-user-select:none;\n -moz-user-select:none;\n -ms-user-select:none;\n user-select:none;\n}\n\n.content a:hover {\n text-decoration: none;\n border: solid 1px #2A4E77;\n text-decoration: none;\n}\n\n.next {\n\ttext-align: right; \n\tfloat: right;\n background: #308D35;\n color: #FFF;\n}\n\n.next:hover {\n background: #53D25A;\n}\n\n.xnext:active {\n -webkit-box-shadow: inset 0 1px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);\n -moz-box-shadow: inset 0 1px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);\n box-shadow: inset 0 1px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);\n background: #2E5481;\n border: solid 1px #203E5F;\n}\n\n.endit {\n\ttext-align: left; \n\tfloat: left;\n background: #E92C2C;\n color: #FFF;\n}\n\n.endit:hover {\n background: #FF6B6B;\n}

\n.passage .title { display: none }\n#storyTitle { display: none }\n#footer { display: none }\n#floater { display: none }\n.passage { \n\tfont-size: 2.5em;\n}\n#passages {\n\twidth: 600px;\n\tfloat: right;\n\tpadding-right: 30px;\n}\n#content1 {\n\twidth: 800px;\n\ttext-align: left;\n\tmargin-left: auto;\n\tmargin-right: auto;\n\tpadding-right: 30px;\n}\nimg {\n\t-moz-user-select: none;\n\t-webkit-user-select: none;\n\tuser-select: none;\n}\n\n\n.pframe {\nz-index: 200;\nheight: 568px;\nbackground-image: url("pic1.jpg");\nbackground-repeat: no-repeat;\nbackground-position: center center;\nwidth: 568px;\nborder-radius: 2pc;\nmargin: -1pc -1pc;\n}\n\n.caption\n{\nbackground-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.77);\n position: relative;\ntop: 350px;\ntext-align: center;\n}\n

The Text Messages That You Miss When Your Friend Goes To The Space Ambassadors' Party But You Stay Home And Watch Television Instead

<<print either("","","So: ","Soooo ... ","Hey! ","Look! ","OK: ","Update: ","Breaking: ","I knew it! ","<<exclamation>> ","Anyway...","Anyhow...")>>

<<print either(either("genital","queer","sexual","erotic"),"ritual","spiritual","religious","space","hyperspace","osmotic","implied","polyamorous","negative","unconscious","dialectic","feminist","communist","anarchist","traditional","alien","native","exotic",either("vegetable","interpretive","naive"),"popular","gaseous","mimetic","memetic","magnetic","ethical","quantum","meta-temporal","crystal","teleporting")>>

<<print either("a huge","a prosthetic","an extending","a ridic","an automatic","a robotic","a prehensile","a laser-guided","a metallic","a little","a vibrating","a sensitive","an empathic","a gentle","a challenging","a socially-conscious","more than one","a wild","a traditional","an eldritch","a simple","an exotic","a tactile","a transparent","a popular","a procedural","a generic","a general","a transforming","a colourful","a pornographic","an intense")>>

<<intro>>The <<person>> and the <<person>> are in the <<place>> - <<adverb>><<interaction>> each other? <<exclamation>>

A [[Cephalopodunk|http://cephalopodunk.itch.io/]] game by [[@Zen_Benjamin|https://twitter.com/Zen_Benjamin]]\nMade with [[Twine|http://twinery.org/]] for the [[Twiny Jam|https://itch.io/jam/twiny]] \n<hr>Games are for everyone. Peace out.

<<print either("Girl","Bro","Fam","Hey","Look","Umm ...")>> am I <<feeling_towards>> <<type_of>> <<thing>>? <<print either("","I can't remember!","I don't know!","I don't know anymore!","Be honest!")>> <<exclamation>>

<<print either("loving","optimised for","good at","an expert in","ready for","a fan of","following","live-texting","better than you at","worse than you at","over","misunderstanding","into","too into",either("a fool for","mad for"),"familiar with","horrible at","over-explaining",either("experiencing","experienced in"))>>

<div class='caption'><<print either("...the <<place>>...","the <<person>>...",either("Selfie!","(not a selfie)","Did I send this one already?","Ha!"),"<<type_of>> <<thing>>!")>><<print either(" <<exclamation>>",either("...sort of!","...kinda!"," Not!")," <<yay>>"," <nowiki>#</nowiki>nofilter!"," <nowiki>#</nowiki>sorrynotsorry!")>></div>

.passage { \n\tbackground-image: url('pic2.jpg');\n}\n

<<print either("seducing","boring","cuddling with","propositioning","drinking with","singing to","making out with","kissing","gazing at","admiring",either("berating","reprimanding"),"whispering to","talking with","xeno-splaining to","smooching","flirting with","arguing with","teasing")>>

<<print either("Now the ","The ","OK, the ","<<intro>>")>> <<person>> is <<adverb>><<interaction>> the <<person>><<print either(".",".",".","...")>> <<exclamation>>

<<print either("","","","","drunkenly ","clumsily ","sensually ","randomly ","reluctantly ","fervently ","totally ","finally ","only ","fucking ","totes ","seemingly ","apparently ","really ","carefully ","positively ","relentlessly ","happily ","excitedly ","gradually ","nakedly ","obviously ","randomly ","deliberately ","accidentally ")>>

<div class='next'>[[CREDITS|credits]]</div>\n</br>

.passage { \n\tbackground-color: #000;\n border-radius: 3pc;\n padding-top: 2pc;\n padding-right: 2pc;\n padding-bottom: 2pc;\n padding-left: 2pc;\n\tcolor: #FFF;\n\ttext-align: center;\n}\n.passage:not(:last-child):not(:hover) {\n\topacity: 1;\n}

<<print either("Nidari","Tebokoe","Ioepebo","Ploh","MmringMring","Ao","Foo'oom","Quounui","Kixighi","Duuk-kahassi","Kyavea","Robot","SPACE OCTOPUS","Atsnurti-yasetuk","Mersobe","Ortisath","Titslarbler","Jikela","Womblusk","Teskugorn","Fanarkax")>><<print either(""," Ambassador"," Emissary"," Adjunct"," Cultural Attache"," interpreter"," auxilary"," minister"," bigwig"," priest"," priestess"," diplomat"," Overlord"," High Commander"," wizard"," celebrity"," companion"," medic"," assistant"," liaison"," wannabe"," shaman"," avatar"," proxy"," pet"," driver"," warrior"," artist"," concubine")>><<print either("","","","","","","","","","","","","'s lover","'s fangirl","'s fanboy",either("'s +1","'s plus one"),"'s guest","'s friend","'s minder","'s bodyguard","'s admirer","'s wife","'s husband","'s broodmate")>>

<<exclamation>>In the <<place>> with the <<person>> - <<print either("I am","I'm","I am","I'm","")>> <<feeling_towards>> <<adverb>><<interaction>> them. <<yay>>

<<print either("escape pod","vestry","gym","guest room","closet","nook","hive","toilets","'quiet room'","temple","hugbox","snugglecube","store room","hothouse","observation deck","airlock","shuttle-bay","lodge","ready room","command centre","dormitory","cryo-lab","cave","forest","meditation chamber","crawlspace","server room",either("dungeon","red room","bedroom"),"pod bay","aquarium","pool","VIP area","bar","library",either("medicine circle","med-bay"),"holosuite")>>

<<print either("doing","doing","talking about","talking about","performing","presenting","demonstrating","reciting","enacting","declaiming","decrying","shouting about","mumbling about","explaining","making","creating","debating")>>

<<intro>>The <<person>> <<print either("","<<adverb>>")>><<print either("has","has","has","has","owns","possesses","rejoices in","rocks","rents")>> <<description>> <<quality>>. <<print either("","","<<yay>>","<<exclamation>>")>>

You have read</br>\n<div style='font-size: 6em; margin: 30px 0px 0px 0px'><<print $cnt>></div>\n<<nobr>>\n<<if $cnt == 1>>\nmessage\n<<else>>\nmessages\n<<endif>> \n<<set $art to "a">>\n<<if $cnt <= 1>>\n<<set $friend to "not very patient">>\n<<set $art to "">>\n<<else if $cnt < 5 >>\n<<set $friend to "very bad friend">>\n<<else if $cnt == 13 >>\n<<set $friend to "unlucky person">>\n<<set $art to "an">>\n<<else if $cnt < 15 >>\n<<set $friend to "bad friend">>\n<<else if $cnt < 30 >>\n<<set $friend to "barely adequate friend">>\n<<else if $cnt == 69 >>\n<<set $friend to "funny person">>\n<<else if $cnt < 80 >>\n<<set $friend to "adequate friend">>\n<<set $art to "an">>\n<<else if $cnt < 140 >>\n<<set $friend to "average friend">>\n<<set $art to "an">>\n<<else if $cnt < 300 >>\n<<set $friend to "good friend">>\n<<else if $cnt < 500 >>\n<<set $friend to "very good friend">>\n<<else if $cnt < 1000 >>\n<<set $friend to "excellent friend">>\n<<set $art to "an">>\n<<else if $cnt < 10000 >>\n<<set $friend to "amazing friend">>\n<<set $art to "an">>\n<<else>>\n<<set $friend to "person with too much time on your hands">>\n<<endif>> \n<<endnobr>>\n<hr>You are <<print $art>><div style='font-size: 2.5em; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; line-height: 150%;'><<print $friend>></div><<goto "cbutton">>\n