***IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT YOU JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER SO YOU'RE NOTIFIED AS SOON AS THE GAME HAS AN UPDATE. IT WILL UPDATE QUITE A LOT!
 (link: "> Join Discord server for updates.")[(goto-url: 'https://discord.gg/ZMwyGwq')]
Navigation; one double right arrow in front of a command indicates that it's just descriptive, or a joke. These aren't necessary for you to read through, albeit highly recommended. Double right arrows indicate that the command, although it doesn't advance the story, is still important, and you should read it. Three right arrows indicate that it is very important and/or advances the story. A (+) in front of an item or something else indicates that there is now a command in correlation with that thing.
1.0.3 Changelog; overhauled some mechanics, added a lot of new entries and over three thousand words, no typos that i know of, tried out a new style. Have an opinion or suggestion? Share it in our Discord server.
 [[>> Begin story.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")]Hello! You can call me HAZARDLY. I will be your NARRATOR throughout this OBSTREPEROUS SHITSHOW.
A publically-unknown extraterrestrial teenager reclines on their CUSTOM MADE CHAIR. Said chair-- obviously alongside said teenager, are currently located in the center of the adolescents HYGIENICALLY-NEGLECTED BEDROOM. It is also worth mentioning that this "bedroom" actually makes up the ENTIRETY of their LIVING CONFINES.
There are various other TRINKETS and entries of FURNITURE throughout the bedroom, but those can wait; for this child still awaits a name. They've been going their entire plot-convenient life without one, and they've RANDOMLY EPIPHANIZED that now is the time to elect one.
It's also been decided that, for whatever uncharted reason, YOU are given the responsibility of naming them. You decide that you're going to be UNQUESTIONABLY MATURE in the process of giving this innocent child a permanent alias, and you are absolutely NOT going to submit any funny business.
 [[>>> First name: Dex.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")]Slow down you rambunctious delinquent! You can't choose a name for them before reading the helpful NAME GUIDE, now, can you? It is because you haven't read it that you chose a name that's not even LEGALLY ALLOWED where they live! For shame.
Every seasoned devuean knows that having an x in one's name is an INCOMPREHENSIBLY FELONIOUS ACT OF TREASON! Why don't you try again, but this time, maybe read the name guide that's in this unnamed adolescent's hoodie pocket?
+ One (1) NAME GUIDE.
 [[> Consult name guide.]]
 [[>>> First name: Norez.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")]  > NAME GUIDE FOR SOUTHEASTERN DEVUEANS OF THE KAZAKAAR REPUBLIC
 > BY: ANONYMOUS
If you're mentally inept and haven't picked up on traditional naming standards from the reykas you've been in Southeastern Kazakaar-Devuea, this UNOFFICIAL name guide should surely help you out. I can't stress enough that this is UNOFFICIAL. Primarily for legal reasons, and also those regarding the well-being of my life due to prevalent governmental tyranny.
Regardless of sex or gender, every devuan has a first name of five letters, and a second name of the same length. Although not legally required, sometimes they inherit middle names from either of their guardians. This is commonplace in large bloodlines, in order to keep track of who's who.
Due to an influx of young guardians repeatedly filling their adols names with x's in an effort to be cool, many peoples names have become indistinguishable from the rest of their bloodline. The Kazakaar Republic has placed a ban on x's in names ever since. Albeit extreme, it works. One having an x in their name is incomprehensibly felonious treason, and is not tolerated in any territory owned by the Kazakaar Republic.
If you're a foreigner and have no idea what an adol is, allow me to explain. An adol is a young person-- typically under the age of forty-six reykas, who a guardian is responsible for the well-being of. Sadly, not every adol has a guardian, so they must raise themself on their own, commonly using resources on the internet.
 [[> Go back. ->>>> First name: Dex.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")]Norez is a much more legally-acceptable name. However, young Norez is still in dire need of a SECOND NAME, of which contributes to distinguishability of them in their potentially-expansive bloodline. Yes, it could so happen that all of their guardians and blood-adols are DECEASED, rendering the second name entirely useless, but they are determined to get one regardless of the eventual legal futility!
 [[>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] Norez Mavur does have a pleasant ring to it, they reckon. Norez Mavur it is.
Before going any further into this adventure, there is one thing that must be apparent. This extraterrestrial teenager just so happens to be YOU. Albeit temporarily. NO! None of that existential confusion. It is EXTREMELY easy to grasp.
You throw your name guide aside and lean back in your currently-undescribed chair, repeatedly tossing and catching an ARKSOL BOTTLE in your right hand. You're very glad your wrist is HYPERMOBILE; it makes the otherwise rudimentary display of boredom seemingly more fun.
Due to today being the dawning of your LATE ADOLESCENCE, you decide that you should find something fun to do in order to celebrate. Having this day exist as any other would be an OVERWHELMINGLY DISTRESSING outcome. In order to find something fun to do, however, it is incredibly helpful to actually take note of your ENCLOSURE, and the various things it dons.
 [[> Examine chair.]]
 [[> Examine Arksol bottle.]]
 [[>> Examine room layout.]]
 [[>> Examine furniture.]]
 [[> Examine outfit.]]
 [[> Examine various trinkets.]]
 [[>>> Continue.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")]
You stand up from your incredibly visually-intruging chair in order to perceive it and monologue its DESCRIPTIVE QUALITIES. From afar, it may seem like it's just a normal chair, but when one actually admires its content, the EXACT OPPOSITE is true.
As a base for the seat cushion-- which is actually a bundled up hoodie, you've elected to use a steel sign advocating for a political party that you HIGHLY DISAGREE WITH. You stole this from your neighbors front door. Alongside that quirky addition, rather than using normal chair legs, you've decided to use LIVE MISSILES in order to support your seat. The logic behind this decree is extremely daunting and questionable, but you thought it looked cool and reflected your obsession with weapons quite well, despite it displaying that you're actually PRETTY BAD AT BASIC WEAPONS SAFETY.
The back portion was salvaged from an actual, normal chair you found in a DUMPSTER outside your apartment complex. You decided to keep the bending functionality of it so you could lean back without falling over and accidentally HIPFIRING one of your missiles, because you ALWAYS carry a firearm. A hyper-realistic sculpture of JOSEPH FRANCIS BRUCE could come flying through your window at ANY TIME. YOU MUST BE PREPARED!
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You gaze into the beautiful glass Arksol bottle in your grasp. As it heightens, the walls begin to close and somewhat taper at the extremities, allowing for a decent-sized neck that you can grab in order to prevent getting the bottle too warm. Atop this neck is a ROCKET-SHAPED CAP, also structuralized of glass. It was obviously fabricated with fine craftsmanship and impressive attention to detail, if you put aside the fact that Arksol is OBVIOUSLY MASS-PRODUCED IN FACTORIES.
The laminated label wrapped around the body of the beverage states that the flavor is "INEBRIATING ICHOR," which makes it very clear that it's a RATHER INTOXICATING fluid. Due to your still-developing liver, you've been contemplating whether or not to actually drink it. On one hand, it is a very special occasion in your life and you want to try it out, but on the other, the negative side effects of such an intense alcohol cannot be ignored.
Whatever. You'll decide what to do later.
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You walk to the mirror near your adolzeime pit and admire your PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. You're wearing a sleeveless zhek fur hoodie, which is a rather fluffy and comfortable material. The hoodie isn't branded, but the Arksol shirt under it absolutely is. It has a dark grey base with the purple Arksol logo everyone on your planet has grown to love; with the blasting-off rocket ship and fancy typography and such.
Your HYPERMOBILE LEGS are covered in a short pair of black and white shorts, which some alien species would refer to as "sport shorts." You do not play sports, unless SHOOTING FIREARMS FOR SIX HOURS A DAY counts.
You're not wearing any footwear whatsoever since you're in your OWN DAMN HOME, so your light red feet-- consistent throughout your entire body besides areas such as the front of your hands, which are pale-- are completely visible to any UNANNOUNCED PRESENCE that may be in your home, for whatever unrealistic reason.
Although not technically part of your outfit, you decide to note your NATIVE APPEARANCE as well. Your hair is a pure black, and you've elected to shave it off a while ago so you wouldn't have to keep styling it every morning. Your jawline which is a neighbor to your rather thin lips ISN'T VERY PROMINENT, but it doesn't necessarily strip away from your appearance. Your irises are both red.
The rest of your body is RATHER THIN due to the horrible economical situation of the Kazakaar Republic. Food is a precious commodity. You shoot cool guns to drown the pain.
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] Inspecting the familiar confines around you, you delineate that the room structure is RATHER SIMPLE, bearing the shape of an incredibly generic rectangle. There isn't much else to see in terms of the structure besides the sizable glass window to the south of your room, allowing a CLEAR VIEW of the slums of your province, where crime and other immoral actions are overwhelmingly rife.
The structure of your room seems to be in good condition, and you don't think it'll collapse any time soon.
Most of your furniture and nick-nacks are pushed to the EASTERN SIDE, whereas only a few large pieces of furniture reside in the WEST. The NORTH end is lackluster in furniture but abundant in posters of your various hobbies in terms of the internet and its videogames.
 [[> Examine posters.]]
 [[> Examine slums.]]
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You look to your right, which also conveniently happens to be facing the eastern side of your room. Pushed up against the wall is your CUSTOM-MADE GAMING DESK which, similarly to your chair, also has an UNCANNY PRESENCE OF FIREARMS. Rather than the legs being made of firearms, the surface itself is an organized cluster of various rifles coated in an incredibly strong epoxy resin.
It is on this desk where your monitor and computer combo dwells. Your specifications aren't too impressive because you've shelled out most of your reayns on ARKSOL AND GUNS, but your PC gets the job done for the most part. As long as you can talk to your friends and play some basic games with them, you'll be content.
To the left of your computer desk is a minifridge, which is home to various different bottles of Arksol, alongside a slew of RATHER UNHEALTHY snacks composed mostly of Vau bars. Come to think of it, you don't think you've ever looked at the ingredients of those things. Or anything you've ever consumed, come to think of it.
(+) VAU BARS.
To the far right of this wall is a shelf with five unique bottles of Arksol. Collecting them is commonplace for you and your friends. There are twenty-six flavors in total, and out of all of them you have Inebriating Ichor, Csyon Celebration, Faurkriox' Fain, Galactic Gumption, and lastly, much to your dismay, HAMMERED HARLEQUIN. You don't like thinking about Hammered Harlequin.
(+) ARKSOL COLLECTION.
Atop this shelf is a plastic bin of Arksol BOTTLE CAPS. They're very inconvenient to collect-- one wrong move and all of them could shatter. You're relying on ArksolLab's EXPERIENCED CRAFTSMANSHIP to hinder that possibility, however.
You go to the west side of your room very carefully to avoid tripping on any of your VARIOUS NICK NACKS you'll get into later. As you predicted, all of your targets are still there. There is one moving training dummy near the middle of the wall, and a bunch of paper targets hung in random intervals throughout the wall. The metal box on the right hand side of this area would be filled with bullet shells, but you're FAR TOO LAZY to pick them up, so they've collected into four sizable piles throughout the floor of this area.
You look to the south end of your room, and that happens to be the wall where the headboard of your bed would be. You say “would be” because you don't HAVE A HEADBOARD. Only spoiled adols do. Your surprisingly-normal bed frame does a great job at keeping your very expensive, electronically aided mattress in place, alongside your vauruk fur blanket and your pillows made from the same material. The sideboards of your bed have decorative, tiny light bulbs hanging from them on horizontally-flowing strings.
Finally, at the north end of your room, to the left of your door, is your sofa which you're surprised hasn't caved in. The frame is made from a really cheap wood called kornike harvested from the eastern forests of your province, and the material of the sofa itself is vaurauk fur-- NOT to be confused with vauruk fur; its more expensive and comfortable counterpart.
Oh, yeah. There's also that GIANT FUCKING ADOLZEIME PIT IN THE CENTER OF YOUR ROOM. It's about two meters in circumference and one and a half meters deep, and the metal chamber is filled with a glowing orange substance called adolzeime, which significantly helps with the SKINCARE and RESPIRATORY system of young adols. You read a probably non-credible article that you could PISS INTO IT too, although you're not entirely excited to try it out. You'd be dead without it. Randomly thrown to the southeastern side of the adolzeime pit is a full body mirror. The GLOWING ADOLZEIME emits a light orange hue, invigorating you in a strange sense of EUPHORIA and bringing a SMILE to your thin lips.
Okay, that's all of your furniture.
 [[> Examine Arksol bottle collection.]]
 [[> Examine Vau bars.]]
 [[> Examine adolzeime pit closely.]]
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You look about your floor and see the various guns, ammunition cases and Arksol bottle caps that are haphazardly thrown about. Yes, you have a special place for your bottle caps, but you simply don't have the time required to store all of them.
Well YOU DO, but you're just way too lazy for those shenanigans.
You have about NINETEEN RIFLES, FIVE SIDEARMS and TWO ROCKET LAUNCHERS scattered about the expanse. Every one of them is loaded with the safety off. You don't even need to check them, you just know for a fact that you're so bad with proper gun safety that the thought would NEVER ENTER YOUR MIND.
If you ever leave your home, which is very unlikely, you'll definitely be taking ONE OF EACH with you.
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] What? Why would you need to examine it more closely? You already have a perfectly-fine visual synthesis- NO.
I know what you're thinking.
Over the entire course of your life you haven't urinated into your adolzeime pit ONCE, and by whatever god you believe in-- if any, you're not going to do it today. You don't even remember the SOURCE of that article.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine furniture.]]
 [[> Piss in the adolzeime pit.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You approach the adolzeime pit and wonder why on earth you SO-EGREGIOUSLY want to piss in it. You decide that unless you can come up with some kind of good reason, you're just going to CHANGE YOUR MIND.
 [[> For fame!]]
 [[> For wealth!]]
 [[> For science!]]
 [[> Go back. ->> Examine adolzeime pit closely.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You SERIOUSLY DOUBT you'd be getting any kind of fame by doing this. In any related case, even if people did find out about this act of viscous excretion, it'd SEVERELY DAMAGE YOUR REPUTATION.
You change your mind and go back to where you left off.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine furniture.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] What wealth are you getting? A wealth of whatever CONVOLUTED SUBSTANCE comes with the combination of PISS AND ADOLZEIME? A wealth of some kind of new SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE??
You're not going to get ANY ECONOMICAL GAIN from doing this preposterous, vile act of pure heresy. You change your mind.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine furniture.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] That is a SOMEWHAT ACCEPTABLE REASON. You guess it would be interesting to see what happens when the acidic qualities of your urine collide with the non-acidic qualities of adolzeime.
You privately announce that your thought process and self-respect have APESHIT DEGENERATIVE QUALITIES before allowing a stream of urine to flow into the thick, orange substance in the adolzeiem pit.
NOTHING HAPPENS. That was three minutes you're NEVER GOING TO GET BACK.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine furniture.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You walk to the northern side of you room and look at your BOUNTIFUL POSTERS. There are seven affixed to your wall, ranging from those of video games you're interested in, to those of which POLITICAL IDEOLOGIES you fall under.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine room layout.]]
 [[> Examine video game posters.]]
 [[> Examine political posters.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] Your collection of videogame posters brings a smile to your face. The leftmost one is of NOPOREAL; an incredibly detailed first person shooter with a very dream-esque aesthetic to it. The variety of firearms in NOPOREAL is unlike any video game you've ever seen, and one can TRULY EXPRESS THEMSELF in that game via guns alone. The developers are also QUITE NICE, in your experience.
Destreate is the next game presented on your wall. Its name is a simple combination of the words "destroy" and "create," and the computed simulation serves as an optionally survival-enabled sandbox in which one can express themselves through a plethora of materials, shapes and elements, COMMONLY WITH THEIR FRIENDS. You recall many memorable nights where you played this game for tens of hours without stopping with your VIRTUAL CLIQUE, annihilating each others creations in NUCLEAR FIRE, and erecting unspeakably vile structures which would cause even the most DESPERATE HYPERSEXUALS to retort.
The next video game poster over is that of Origin; its slogan being, "An indecipherable clusterfuck." You NEGATIVELY REMINISCE in its awful writing, horrible combat and UI elements, and its egomania-diagnosed creator. They have ties with a very powerful game studio, though, so THEY GOT WEALTHY OFF OF IT ANYWAY. You'd manifest a mental synopsis of the game, but you simply don't remember anything from it due to how DRASTICALLY UNDERWHELMING every single action you made in it was. The only reason you have the poster is because the developer said they'd give one hundred reayns to a random person who hung up a poster of Origin in their home. Probably to boost their narcissism to even higher levels than it's already at.
After that one, there's a LAMINATED WHITE POSTER with a complex, green circle-like shape on it. It has multiple inner rings comprised with unorthodox zigzags and curved lines. You have no idea how this got here. Frankly, you're QUITE FLABBERGASTED. You forget the name of this video game-- if it's even a video game at all. It could be some sort of NEW POLITICAL IDEOLOGY that you've never heard of. Regardless, you're keeping it up there anyway. It looks cool.
Your last video game poster (assuming the previous one was ACTUALLY a video game, of course,) visualizes the clever marketing of Arksol Online. Sadly, however, the "clever marketing" is the only thing this game had going for it. Literally. It was just a high-resolution picture of the new ARKSOL FLAVOR that displayed one of THIRTY-SEVEN VIDEO ADVERTISEMENTS for it when you clicked it. It was loaded with malware, so you could only actually exit it or shut off your computer after seeing all thirty-seven ads. All of them were thirty seconds in length. None of them were skippable. All of them were randomnized. You have eleven hours cranked into that game just trying to GET THE HELL OUT.
You seem to have looked through your arsenal of video game posters. You often theroize on WHY IT HASN'T BEEN TAKEN DOWN. Then you remembered that governmental ties with supercorporations on your planet are ALWAYS CORRUPT.
 [[> Go back. ->> Examine posters.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You aren't too much of a political person, but endorsing one of the two parties in your province over the other makes that ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT. On one hand, NEOCONSERVATISTS want to keep the old laws of the Kazakaar Republic; which allowed for minorities to SEAMLESSLY COEXIST with the greater majority. On the other, NEOLIBERALISTS have been so plagued by GOVERNMENTAL PROPAGANDA, that they view the public execution of anyone who can't dedicate one hundred percent of their lives to the economy or government of the K.R, COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE. The old, the guardianless adols, the impoverished, the disabled, and the same sex-attracted are all subject to this. You read an article a few passings ago explaining why the Republic justified each one of those. You probably have it bookmarked on your computer.
You only have two political posters; the first being one of Azhtu Reayn's face; the NEOCONSERVATIST candidate of the COMPLETELY ILLEGAL 3057 ELECTION. In order for it to actually happen, the NEOCONSERVATISTS have protested non-stop for the past five reykas, and have killed over 103 GOVERNMENT CONTROL SQUADS which were sent out to execute them. Weapons you supplied them with are responsible for TWO of those kills, so you feel like you've done your part. The poster is laminated and says "VOTE GREY" on the bottom, signifying that once Azhtu is elected, he will abolish the dictatorship and make a no-party, independent system.
The other poster is a shitty electronic poster of Azhtu filling REYKA MAKOR's body with bullets, the NEOLIBERALIST DICTATOR who currently has an UNPRECEDENTED RULE over the KAZAKAAR REPUBLIC. Hopefully that'll change by the time you can safely publically socialize.
Those are both of your political posters. This is getting you in the mood to play some ANTI-GOVERNMENTAL ANARCHIST MUSIC. Sadly you can't afford a veSnyth subscription anymore, and you also haven't really looked into anarchy that much, so you refuse to SUPPORT OR REFUTE it.
 [[> Go back. ->> Examine posters.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You've scanned through your LIVING QUARTERS and now you're troubled on what to do. You suppose it could be best to just INITIATE A CONVERSATION with your friends on your computer, but there are so many possible things you could celebrate this fine day by doing that you MUST TAKE INTO ACCOUNT.
Oh, wait. A SOUND EFFECT that has just transpired from your COMPUTER heavily influences your next decision. It is a NOTIFICATION SOUND from your ISMD application; UNDOUBTEDLY from one of your friends. Perhaps a conversation is ongoing?
 (link: "> Decide actions.")[(goto-url: 'https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc7fU5GFMUmyKdS1sGkO535fBXa5XAlj1_LePIzqEPKKVCKHQ/viewform?usp=pp_url')]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You grab a Vau bar from your minifridge, turning the WRAPPED PROTEIN BAR around and examining the ingredients. The list goes as follows.
9g Psydel, 11.69%
14g Vauraak meat, 18.18%
11g Vaurauk meat, 14.28%
19g Yreinzth, 24.68%
22g Yreinzth husks, 28.57%
2g Glucose, 2.6%
Total: 77g, 7.7% DV of Grams
It's not as unhealthy as you were expecting, but you have no idea what "PSYDEL" is. VAURAAK meat is not to be confused with VAURAUK meat or VAURUK meat; it's far cheaper than both of them, whereas Vaurauk meat is the cheapest. YREINZTH is a COMMONLY-FARMED grain plant most popular in the EASTERN FEDERATION which is actually quite valuable, whereas its HUSKS are tasteless and worthless. Glucose is found in every organic life form on your planet. But you already knew that.
Right? Please tell me you ALREADY KNEW THAT.
 [[> Go back. ->>>> Second name: Mavur. ]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] You take notice of your AMATEUR ARKSOL BOTTLE collection. It's hard getting all flavors, because many of them are on ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PLANETS than yours-- which is called Faurkriox. You have your INTERNET FRIENDS to thank for Hammered Harlequin and Cyson Celebration.
You've already FACTUALLY DELVED into Inebriating Ichor, so first you monologue CYSON CELEBRATION. It was given to you by your friend, who's ISMA (Interstellar Messaging App) handle is CC; Cyson Castrater. A EUPHORIA-PROVOKING name, is it not? It imbues stereotypical "cold things" in correlation with their home planet, Cyson, such as LIQUID XENACYN-- an excruciatingly cold element, NORTHFRUIT-- which is similar to Faurkriox peppers, except they give you INTANGIBLE BURNING SENSATIONS rather than heat, and a color of WHITE-BLUE.
Faurkriox' Fain is an ACHINGLY SCORCHING beverage encompassing various FAURKRIAN PEPPERS in order to manifest a combination of both INCOMPREHENSIBLE PAIN and SEVERE ADDICTION to it. Most Faurkrians latch onto the pain because it's derived from heat, and the lizard-like race thrives in it.
Galactic Gumption is the next one up. It's fashioned from various THINGS harvested from ASTEROIDS inbound to any planets an ArksolLabs factory is at. It's QUITE CONCERNING that they contain absolutely no information about the INGREDIENTS other than that it has "things commonly native to asteroids." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN, ANYWAY?
The final bottle you have is Hammered Harlequin. You tried it once in your life and you're NEVER GOING TO DRINK IT AGAIN. It's fabricated using psydel-- which you're PRETTY SURE is just short for PSYCHEDELICS, and a bunch of other ingredients you'd need a DEGREE IN CHEMISTRY to synthesize properly. Hammered Harlequin was defecated by ArksoLLabs when they had a partnership with the KOOL KLOWN KLUB, famous for their LUDICROUSLY INTENSE clowncore music. When one drinks Hammered Harlequin, they have UNSTOPPABLE HALLUCINATIONS of the owner of the KKK's face, CLOWN MAKEUP AND ALL. This hallucination lasts for SIX HOURS. You tried listening to KKK music after that, but COULDN'T QUITE FATHOM IT. It was awful in every sense.
You're done analyzing your collection. You've monologued Hammered Harlequin FAR TOO MUCH.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine furniture.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")] Ah, the SLUMS OF DEVUEA. As you look out the window before you, you take into account the hundreds of CONCRETE BUILDINGS and factories, only visible in the night due to the various LED advertisement signs hanging from walls of said buildings, most of them being dominated by ARKSOLLABS.
There is a diversity of LAND VEHICLES rolling about on the roads of Devuea, contributing to the extreme amount of smoke and smog in the air. This reminds you that if you ever want to go outside, you'll almost definitely have to wear a FACE MASK. You're very grateful for the filter your bedroom has that clears your room of all of the nasty particles in the air... and now, all the nasty particles that are coming DOWN from the air. You really dislike toxic rain.
The polluted night sky is rather discomforting at first, but the LED advertisements offer a really taboo sense of comfort in the darkness. You elect to stop looking out the window. It's getting you depressed.
 [[> Go back. ->>> Examine room layout.]]
 (link: "> Save Progress.")[(save-game: "file A")]
 (link: "> Load Progress.")[(load-game: "file A")]